Questions raised within those of FellHawk Island



Seth tensed as Old Nala probed at the pink flesh around the wound on his shoulder. She pressed more, made more noises he didn't understand before rubbing a noxious smelling paste over the healing wound. She looked hard at the paste and the wound, made more noises, patted him as she would a small boy and finally said, "It's good. You'll live Seth. Whoever tended you after you were pricked did a fine job. Saved your lordly hide, I would say." Seth grunted, easing now as she bandaged his shoulder again in a soft, clean white rep. She tied the knot over the bandage finishing her task with relish. Seth rose and smiled down at the bent old woman, "Thank you, Nala, it doesn't pain me so much now." "Aye, it shouldn't. You heal well and that's because of your mother, aye, never a scratch on her that wasn't well in a day's time." Seth didn't know this about his mother but only nodded his head, turning to leave the longhouse. Seeing he was about to leave Old Nala added, "The girl, what will you do with her? The men tell of how she kept you alive only with plans to torture you later. Is she the one who tended you? Nay, that doesn't make sense since the men say she would kill you if she could, that she's not really a woman but only a woman's form and that she's vicious, cold and a black hearted b*tch." She spat into the fire pit.

Seth thought his men had said all that? It was doubtful. Old Nala had an imagination to rival a scald's. She could plant an acorn and quickly raise a full branched tree from it. "She is the Mistress of Trevelyan Hall, in league with Tyler and my hostage." He said this as he turned away from her, saying more to himself than to the scrappy old woman, "Her intentions aren't always clear to me. She is my prisoner. Keep away from her. She isn't to be trusted around any of us." Old Nala's scraggly brow rose in question, "Will you be keeping her in your sleeping chambers?" Seth allowed the impertinence, though he gave her a look that would halt most of his men in their tracks. He had no intention of answering that question instead saying, "She was still asleep when I left her this morning." "When she awakens she will be hungry. All she needs is good food to regain her strength." Old Nala cackled at that and gave him a sly look, "Not that entti is such a good cook. Shall I take your prisoner some porridge?"

Seth thought of his orders to Sindra to eat the inedible stew or go hungry. Damn her. He said louder than he originally planned to Nala, "Why do you continue to make entti cook if her results are so terrible? Why do you make us all suffer?" Old Nala shrugged her humped shoulders, "It was her turn. What could I do? It is all done by vote. You gave me the responsibility Seth to oversee the farmstead for two years now. I am doing my best. Will you strip me of my duty?" It always seemed to be entti's turn of late Seth mused. "I will see if Lady Sindra is awake. Did entti prepare the porridge?" Old Nala cackled again, "Nay. Ottar's girl, Utta, was up before the dawn. Aye, a born cook that one is. A pity she is only eleven years old. She cooks only on rare occasion. Aye, a wonderous cook, that little one. No black lumps in the porridge this morning. She'll grow up soon enough, in three years or so and then she'll take her turn with the other women, that or companion and leave FellHawk Island." Seth was so hungry at that moment he gave thought to take the child himself. He stood by the fire pit and fed himself first, eating two bowls, savoring each spoonful of porridge, then dished up a bowl for Sindra, dropped a dallop of butter on it and walked to his sleeping chamber. He opened the door and light flooded in.

I was lying on my side on the floor, my legs drawn up, my hands folded beneath my cheek. Seth stood over me saying nothing. I looked defenseless. I looked helpless but he knew the truth. He had felt my damned dagger in his throat and he also knew that Tyler and the rest of my men were probably already searching for me. What was he going to do with me? He nudged my buttocks with his foot. I mumbled something in my sleep, then quieted again. Seth nudged me again saying, "Wake up Sindra. I have much to do and wish not to waste more of my time with you. You try me with your very presence." I was awake in the next instant. I sat up slowly and brought my hands up to push my hair from my face. It was in the next moment I remembered that my right hand was chained and I glared at him. Seth watched my face pale then saw the anger build in my eyes, ignoring it. "I have porridge for you. You will eat now. I have no more time to waste."

I was so hungry I wanted to snatch the bowl from him. The smell made my mouth water. I forced myself to nod slowly, very slowly. I could smell the porridge and the melting butter. I swallowed convulsively, eyeing that porridge. I looked at the large man standing over me, the man who'd smashed his fist in my jaw and taken me from Trevelyan Hall, the man who'd set his big foot on my neck and on my back during the long voyage back to this island saying low, "Is it better than the swill you offered me last night?" He dumped the porridge on the floor, turned on his heel and left the sleeping chamber. I stared at the porridge, that beautiful porridge with its rich smell and the sweet melting butter, all of it now seeping slowly into the packed ground. I cried. I didn't make a sound, just cried, the tears falling over my cheeks, dripping onto the furs. It was my own fault. Why had those words come from my mouth? I hadn't planned them, they'd just come out without my permission. Why hadn't I just kept silent? Just nodded and accepted the porridge from him? After I had eaten it I could have told him it was awful. Why had I baited him? I lowered my head in my hands.

I didn't know how much time had passed, perhaps minutes, perhaps hours, but suddenly I heard a movement, thought it him returning and quickly sniffed back the tears. To have him see me weak like this was more than I could bear. I sniffled and wiped my eyes. I couldn't bear to look up, to see him staring down at me, doubtless pleased at my failure to control myself, more than pleased that he'd beaten me down so easily. As I turned my head slowly I saw a beautiful little girl, doing her best to be quiet probably thinking I was still asleep but then realized she was eyeing me on my knees and was wondering if I was ill or who knows. She said to me iIn a soft voice, I could tell she was nervous about disturbing me, "I brought you some bread. I made it myself. It's very good. Jarl Seth and the men have left. Would you like it?" She wore a pale blue wool gown with a darker blue tunic over it. Two simple brooches of pounded silver fastened the tunic at her shoulders. I raised my head, my emeralds falling on the young girl who was on her knees directly in front of me. Her hair was so blond it was nearly white. She was slight and a very pretty girl but more importantly, in her hands she held a wooden plate and on that plate were four slices of sa-tarna bread.

The girl held the plate out towards me. Smeared on the flatbread were butter and honey. The smells were beyond description. It was a gift from the Gods. "Thank you...." I said softly to the girl, my eyes never leaving the plate of bread. "I am so very hungry." "Old Nala said you would be. She said Jarl Seth came out of his chamber looking like a man ready to kill, his face all red, the cords standing out in his neck. She said she doubted you got any of the porridge, he looked just that mad. My name is Utta. Old Nala is always saying that men have no patience, that their spirits are too easily irritated and their actions the result of too little thought. They can't always control themselves, she says." "Old Nala sounds wise." I said no more. I tried not to stuff the sa-tarna bread into my mouth but it was difficult. I concentrated on taking one bite at a time and chewing thoroughly. I knew the girl was watching me intently. I also knew that she was silent because she knew how so very hungry I was and she didn't want to disturb my eating. I ate the fourth slice of bread and reached out my hand. There was nothing more on the plate.

"Old Nala also said that you shouldn't eat more right now or you would be sick and vomit it all up. She said if you could bear it, you should rest for a while and then I will bring you some more food. Is that all right? "Aye, that's wonderful." I sighed deeply, ignoring my still hollow belly and lay back. "Jarl Seth has gone hunting with the men." "There is game on the island?" I quirked a brow as I asked her. "Aye but he's been careful to breed as much as he kills so that we'll never starve when there is a long storm and he and the men can't fish or sail to the mainland to hunt. This morning he, my father and some other men have sailed to shore to hunt there. The coast is flat and there are salt marshes and bogs but there are wild tabuk, bosk, verr and tarsks there that are quite tasty. Everyone was tired of fish, though I know a very good recipe for roasting the rare fortune of baleen whale that the men had harpooned two hands ago, along with berries I add to it."

Well, this girl was a source of information that is for sure but I found myself wanting some roasted bosk strips right this instant or some of the roasted whale the girl had mentioned, I didn't care which. "Would you like to get into Jarl Seth's bed?" she asked of me. I thought of other body parts than my stomach and nodded. I slowly rose, my back stiff, my buttocks sore and my right arm numb. It was then that the girl saw the chain and her eyes widened with surprise. "Why did Jarl Seth do that to you?" "Because he didn't want to kill me just yet." I laid on the soft mattress filled with feathers. It had been a long time since I had felt that luxury beneath me...my eyes never leaving the girl, I was indebted to her.

Utta had noticed now how quiet I had gotten as she pulled the furs over me then straightened. "I don't know how to unfasten the chain so I can't help with any discomfort there. I apologize for that, Lady. If you would like to relieve yourself, I will get you a pot." It was humiliating but the young girl treated it so matter of factly that I felt boundless gratitude, saying softly, "I will repay you for your kindness, Utta. If someday I can, I will repay you." Utta shrugged, "I thought you were a haruspexe, that's what all the men were telling the women. But you are not. I hope you aren't too frightened. You must sleep now. Later Old Nala will tend to the cuts on your hands and knees." "Thank you...." Utta paused in the doorway turning around, "My mother was sick for a long time before she died. I learned to care for her. Do you know how to cook?"

"Aye, certainly. I am the Mistress of Trevelyan Hall and own, operate besides doing alot of the cooking myself for my Inns before your Jarl brought me here as his hostage." "Are you a very good cook?" "Aye, but let's keep that between us, if possible." I smiled at the pretty girl. Utta was silent for a long moment, fiddling with one of the brooches at her shoulder before finally saying, "Why does Jarl Seth treat you like this?" My belly lulled, the feather mattress soft beneath my back, I fell fast asleep and didn't respond to Utta as I never heard her.

Arrival at FellHawk Island

I watched as Seth's warship, The Thassan Raven, entered into the narrow protected harbor. There was a single long wooden pier, its pilings built of sturdy oak. I watched as men, women and children came running and scrambling down the path from the Hall atop the highest point of the island. Not all that high, really, just a gentle sweep upward, the flat land at the top was covered with crops I noticed. Thick trees and abundant low tangled shrubs formed nearly an impenetrable protective boundary around the fields.

The men who reached the pier first grabbed the lines thrown from the warriors on board and tied them securely. The women and children stood back, waiting. I scanned their faces, not moving as the scene in front of me brought back many memories. In reality, sometimes when warriors returned from their raiding and whatnot, it was with fewer warriors and the families who greeted them, you would see those faces turn from anticipation to despair when their own men were not amongst those who returned. Seth's men jumped onto the pier, stretching and shouting to their comrades, hugged their mates, slaves and threw their shrieking children into the air. A familiar scene, I thought again, and this time there were no tears, no laments. Two wounded men and their hard heads were healing. I did glance at Seth as I thought that, as so was he healing.

I also noted there was no mate or child to greet him. I saw him shake his head as if he was trying to rid himself of something. I knew his shoulder must still ache but quickly forgot about what pain he may be in as I saw yet others racing down the path from the Hall to greet them, calling out, shrieking. When the last man had jumped from The Thassan Raven, he had then turned to look down at me at his feet and said, "Come along. This is my home, the entire island belongs to me. There is no way to escape, as you can see. You will not try to. Now, keep your mouth shut and get onto the docks."

I hadn't said a word since early that morning and managed to struggle to my feet and hold steady, despite the gentle rocking of the warship. I greatly admired the island, its location and its strategic advantages, not that I would ever tell him. The island's natural harbor made it a possession of great worth. No storms would destroy the ships in the protective inlet. From the arm of land that curved outward into the sea, an enemy could be seen from a goodly distance and warning given in good time. I looked at him straightly and said, "It isn't a very big island, barely a speck in the sea. I don't know why you are braying on so much about it. It's just a chunk of land, a small chunk. I wouldn't want to live here."

I knew he must have been as tired as I was, his shoulder probably throbbed but I didn't care. He at least, was home, where I wasn't and I wanted to hurt him any way that I could, his pride would have to be the only thing I could settle for in the situation I was in at the moment but it didn't seem to phase him for the first time. He simply said to me, "FellHawk Island is big enough for me and my people. Now, be quiet." He then jumped onto the dock and turned to look down at me. I knew I was in pathetic condition. My face was burned from the sun, my woolen robe was filthy, wrinkled and damp from sea water that had splashed over me for the past three days. My hair was tangled and matted to my head. "You look like a hag. If I wanted to sell you, I doubt I could find a man who would be willing to buy you." He offered me his hand as he said those words jarring me from my perusal of myself. I looked at his hand, strong, deeply bronzed by the sun, then looked away. There was black grime beneath his fingernails. That, for some reason, pleased me. I climbed onto the dock myself and immediately staggered for my legs wouldn't hold me. I had been tied down to the plank by his feet for nearly the entire voyage. I would have sprawled onto my face had he not grabbed my arm.

"You smell vile", he said and dragged me after him along the dock. "I hadn't realized it aboard The Thassan Raven, for the blessed sea breezes wafted your odor away." "It wafted yours away too." Was all I could think of to say. He turned back to look at me thoughtfully and his words still ring in my head, "I thought at first that my men would try to ravish you, despite my warning to them. After all, you were somewhat comely with all that red hair and that white skin, unique perhaps, and a man enjoys trying something that is unusual. And those green eyes of yours, strange eyes, the color hints at mysteries and secrets. Aye, that's what I thought they'd see when they looked at you, a new sweet, a new animal to pet. I venture they wondered at the hair between your thighs, if it was as red as the hair on your head. But they kept their thoughts to themselves. There's been no danger of them wanting you for the past few days, has there? Why, they would have tossed you overboard had I allowed them to so do. You've given nothing. You did nothing save take up precious space. You smell like a gutted fish. You ate our food, drank our precious water and reviled me until I wanted to strangle you."

"I only told you that Tyler would find you and butcher you like the miserable bast*rd you are." I remember saying that softly as my throat was still parched and I just didn't have it in me to say more. I needed my wits about me and right then I was scared, wondering if I would ever see my son, Garan again or if I would ever be found besides the not knowing what he had planned for me. "You said it more times than I wanted to hear it." was Seth's only response. That was true, I thought but only during the first day, those first hours when my anger had overcome my fear of him, my hatred had been stronger than my good sense, when exhaustion hadn't yet dulled my mind or my will. No, my strength hadn't yet been sapped, I hadn't yet slept like an animal at his feet for endless stretches of time, huddled and bound. Many times he had even rested his foot on my neck, then on my back, for his own pleasure or to punish me, I didn't know. The two were probably one and the same. So many hours had passed that my brain refused to count them, to even recognize them as day shifted into night and back again. I was so tired, so stiff, I just wanted to sit down and never move again. But he just kept dragging me along and I knew if I did fall, he would simply drag me along on the ground.

"I also told you I would kill you," I said, drawing on a shred of strength I didn't know was still within me. Ah, that had been during those endless hours during the second day. For punishment, he'd kept water from me until my tongue was swelled in my mouth. He'd moved his foot from my back to my neck. "Aye, my men thought that amusing." He had that sh*t a*s grin on his face again which had goaded me to respond, "So, you didn't tell them how I held my dagger to your throat and when you displeased me, I eased it through your tender skin?" No, I saw, he hadn't told them that. A man's pride could only suffer so much. His hand went to his throat, to the healing ridge of flesh where my dagger point had gone deep enough to draw his blood. It was then he must have realized what he was doing as I watched him drop his hand and there was fury in his eyes but he said quite calmly, "Can you walk without me supporting you now?" "Of course." Me and my own silly pride. When he released me, I promptly collapsed in a heap at his feet. He stood over me, watching as I tried to rub my legs through the filthy woolen material of my robe. I remember his grunt, just before he leaned down and hefted me like a haunch of beef over his shoulder. I jerked upward and he said, "Lie still else I'll drag you by all that hair of yours."

I tried to lie still, I truly did. He walked up a narrow snaking path that was paved with quarried stones. My stomach clenched and heaved at the constant jostling. I closed my eyes against the pain, only to hear bird cries, more cries and calls and shrieks than I had ever heard at Trevelyan Hall. I opened my eyes and from upside down, I saw several birds scurrying about just off the trail, there were so many. There were finches, tindels, gulls, hermits, jards, tanagers, it hit me then we must be in or near Schendi as most of these birds were rainforests birds. I liked birds, I always had, since I was a child. Birds, I thought as I gritted my teeth against a wave of intense nausea. Only someone losing their mind would think of birds at a time like this. I saw a beautiful mindar nestled down in the thick loam beside the trail, admired it and knew I must be nearly dead. Seth continued to climb. I counted ten more steps up the deep set quarried stones. By the eleventh, I was trying to rear up on his shoulder to relieve the pressure on my belly and he slapped by buttocks. There was no hope for it. I yelled out, "Let me down! I am going to vomit!"

With no hesitation he dropped me on the sloping side of the path into a low scrub bush that scraped across my exposed arms. I rolled over, feeling the pain from the harsh needles, to come up onto my bruised and torn hands and knees. I retched and yet still more. There was no food in my belly to come up, thank the Gods for that. I felt sicker than I had ever felt in my life. I hugged my stomach and continued to vomit, dry heaving that felt like my belly was being ripped apart. My throat was dry and hurt so badly I didn't want to breathe. At least he couldn't see my face for my hair hung like a filthy red curtain to the ground. I remember feeling him behind me then, saw the slant of his shadow over my left shoulder through the matted strands of hair. "There is nothing in your belly", he said and I wished I had my dagger. I would have gladly stuck it deep into his groin.

"What's wrong with her, Seth?" It was the man he called Hafter who had come up to stand nearby. Some six other warriors were behind him, all standing there, all staring down at me. I could hear women talking too, even a child saying loudly, "Who is she, Papa? Is she a new slave? What is wrong with her? Will she die?" I knew they were all looking at me and I wished both for their deaths and for my own. Seth said to Hafter, "I was carrying her over my shoulder. She's weak, being a woman and couldn't walk by herself. Now this, puking her guts all over my island. Perhaps it is all an act to gain sympathy. I should have let the men throw her overboard." He sounded like a man put upon, a man upon whom the Gods had visited the worst of punishments. I looked up at him and said clearly back, "I hope your man's parts rot off. I hope this wretched island sinks into the sea and you with it."

There was dead silence then he threw back his head and laughed, a deep, rich laugh filled with malice and fury, a laugh that should have warned me. "I hate you", I said, unwarned then leaned over and threw up again. "You're not but a brutal animal. You chain me for three days, use me to rest your filthy feet upon then expect me to dance about when I am finally allowed to walk." He grasped me then beneath my arms and half dragged, half carried me back to the wooden dock. He swung me off the ground and flung me far out into the water. The shock of the cold water drove my breath from my body and sent me under. My mouth was open on a scream and water rushed down my throat. The water was cold, too cold for the warmth of the day. I flapped my arms with what little remaining strength I had but it did no good. My efforts did nothing. My robe dragged me down. It was then I decided I preferred to sink like a stone to the bottom. Seth would kill me anyway. This way was quicker, easier, I remember thinking. I ceased struggling and fell cleanly downward. The men were laughing. That was the last sound I heard as I went under the water, that gleeful laughter of theirs. In reality, I could swim but he had no way of knowing that and it was just one of what I considered, flaws in my character that I chose to admit to very few. With one last ounce of energy, I pushed once more to the surface, my head cleared the water, bobbing up as I choked, thrashing the water with my arms. It must have been then that Seth realized I couldn't swim or that I was too far gone to keep myself afloat but I remember his yelling, "You damn b*tch! I might have know you'd do this to me!" before he jumped into the water beside me. He grabbed me but I flailed at him, striking his face, his bandaged shoulder, choking and coughing up the water. It was then he struck my jaw yet again and I sagged against him, the fight all gone out of me.

He cursed again as he dragged me back to the pier. "Hafter, take her!". The man threw me over his shoulder and carried me as he followed Seth who was cursing up a blue streak the whole time. We went through the thick wooden gates, into the Hall and he was still cursing as he took me from Hafter and carried me into his sleeping chamber. He started to lay me on his furs, then shook his head. He leaned me against him and stripped off my soaked and dirty robe, laying me on my back on the furs before removing my slippers. He covered me with another fur and left the chamber. I couldn't move nor breath, drifting in and out of consciousness and thought I was surely dying but then I immediately heard him cursing again as he strode back into the room, pulled the furs down, jerking me over onto my belly and splayed his hands across my narrow back. My skin was nearly blue with cold and when he straddled me, I found myself to weak to even lift a finger to fight him but I couldn't have been more wrong about what I thought he was going to attempt to do to me when he began to pump the rest of the water from my body. I sputtered, coughed and vomited up sea water, too much water. In that moment, I think we were both surprised that I had survived. At least he had the presence of mind to pull me over to the side so that the sea water didn't end up soaking his furs. He then sat there, staring at me as I vomited and heaved till I couldn't anymore before saying, "I should have let you drown." He slapped me hard between my shoulders one last time, then turned me onto my back once again. I stared up at him, asking hoarsely,"Why didn't you just let me drown?" "You sound like a wet rep that's been trod upon by a dozen men and to answer your question, I should have." He then pulled the furs up to my throat. He surprised me when he quickly fetched a soft drying cloth and spread it beneath my head before fanning my hair out like a halo around my head to dry, asking "Are you through puking?"

I nodded, so tired, so beaten, I had no more words. I wished he had let me drown. Even though I had wanted an easy death, something in me had rebelled at that last instant in the water and made me fight my way to the surface only to realize that I had no more strength. He had saved my life, damn him. If he had just walked away, it would be over. I thought of the past three days, the endless humiliation of it, ignored after a while even by his men, kept bound unless I had to relieve myself or eat. Aye, I wished he had let me drown. "Stay here and keep quiet, I'll bring you some food."

Seth left me then. I lied there unable to move, to weak to move. I hummed softly a ditty I had learned from my dear friend, Tharos Ghinn many moons ago. The chamber was dim. I was cold, shivering, despite the warmth of the room, despite the warmth of the sun that shone so brightly through the window. I wrapped the fur tighter around me and slowly swung my legs to the side to sit up. I tried to stand, stumbled and quickly lied back down again. I drew in a deep breath realizing how weak I was. What should I do? What could I do? I closed my eyes and fell into a deep sleep as nothing came to mind......

Continued

Tal and ahoy me 'earties! Due to my tremendous intuitive sense of the human creature, the Gorean Times has humbly requested I offer me services to answer any of life's questions ye might be ponderin'. Feel free to plunder the depths of my vast knowledge and scruples or lack thereof. Pick up them rences and writing sticks,savvy?

Tal Captain Jack,

I recently have met the free woman of my dreams. She is kind, gentle and compassionate. I would like to know how long I should wait before I kiss her?
Tempted in Turia

Tal Tempted,

If ye need ask the most opportune ihn, it probably has already passed. Ye nae are a eunich, are ye? Fer Kings sake, mate kiss 'er already, but a word of precaution, make sure ye nae are near any handcuffs and there be no sea monsters lurkin' about!


Tal Captain Jack,

I recently received word that a fellow warrior has requested an honors match, due to an imagined insult to his intended. Do I accept and what should the terms be?
Challenged in Cos

Tal Challenged,

Why fight when ye can negotiate? Talk to the scalleywag and ask his terms. If he still be insistin' ye fight, well change yer name to Harold and make scarce until he gets bored with the wench and moves onto another, savvy?

 

Ask A Pirate

Once Upon a Lifetime
Continued

A New Prisoner....

I was standing when he came into the room again, a wooden bowl of stew in his hand. He stared at me as I was bent forward like an old woman, wrapped in a fur, my hair streaming down my back and over my shoulders, staring at him, I knew my eyes were dull, my face too pale. There was a brief spark of anger, of defiance perhaps, in my eyes, but I quickly hid it. "Where were you going?" he asked of me. "I need a bath or just to wash myself up, Seth." I hated him for forcing me to say it outloud, though it shouldn't have mattered, not after the three days on his warship. He cursed, plowing his fingers through his hair. "I will send a couple of slaves to attend to you." He then set the bowl of stew on the end of a low table and left the chamber. I watched as he called forth two of his slaves and gave them instructions. I knew his Hall was nothing compared to Trevelyan Hall, yet also conceded to myself that they were still in the building stages and I would have to make do with a bathing hut I had seen.

The slaves motioned for me to follow them and they led me into a large stone and wood building. Inside there was an outer chamber with benches along the sides of the wall. It was a bathing hut and I felt a spurt of hope. I continued following them into an inner chamber, small and square, filled with heat and steam drawn from the pile of burning embers filling the fire pit in the center of the chamber. Wooden planks covered the floor and more wooden benches lined the walls. One of the girls stood me in the middle of the room, pulled the fur from me and said, "Stand still." I stood there, shivering despite the billowing heat and the thick steam, trying to cover myself and knowing that I failed and knowing too that they were looking at me, but I didn't care, I probably repulsed them as well. I knew I should be grateful for that, as I saw the other girl coming into the chamber again, a bucket in each hand. I knew what was coming and nearly yelled with the anticipation of it. She threw a bucket of hot water on me then handed me a piece of soap carved into the shape of a small bird or so I thought at first. When I looked closely, it was a tarn, if I wasn't mistaken. I was going mad, I knew it. A tarn! "Bathe all over and hurry." One of the girls said quickly. I did just that. I didn't even notice when they left me alone. I had never before in my life realized the luxury of a bath with soap. It was wonderful. They had left another bucket on the wooden plank beside me. I rinsed my hair and soaped it again. Once clean, I had nothng to do but wait. I couldn't fetch my own water, not naked. When they reappeared, they looked at me, one had a grim expression on her face. "Hold still". She poured the water slowly over my head as I rinsed myself. Then she backed up several feet. I looked at the other girl even as she raised the bucket and threw ice-cold water on me. I shuddered and heaved and yelled even though I had known what was coming. They laughed and once I was dry, they handed me the damp fur again, and motioned me to follow them.

Seth was waiting for me when I exited the bathing hut. Conversation became muted once again. I neither looked to the right nor to the left. I followed him into his sleeping chamber and sat down on the edge of his makeshift bed. He tossed an antler comb on my lap saying, "Eat first else you might collapse again. I don't wish to have to untangle that witches' nest on your head." I obediently, believe it or not, took the bowl of stew from him, the stew now long cold. I took a bite and gagged. It tasted like congealed grease and strangely sour. The bite of meat was stringy, the sauce filled with lumps as nasty as some kind of root. I was hungry but I wasn't starving. I forced down another bite then set the bowl aside. Any more of it and I knew I would vomit again. My stomach was knotting and unknotting in painful spasms. Seth looked at me, his frown building. "Finish it."

I looked up at him, holding the fur tightly over my breasts. "It smells like sleen swill. There is so much grease on the top that it has hardened." I thought he would burst with rage but I didn't care. If he struck me, perhaps he would kill me. At the moment, it didn't matter, nothing mattered. I watched as he got control of himself, making no threatening growls or moves but simply saying, "You will consume it as you would a feast. Every bite. If you don't then you may go hungry. I care not. You can starve."

"I can't eat it, Seth." I knew immediately the he would indeed not give me anything else to eat. "I won't eat it." For how long? Would he let me starve to death? "No one could eat it". I looked at him, at the closed expression, at the anger in his eyes. I didn't want to starve. I figured it wouldn't be a very pleasant way to die. It would be far too slow even though I was already so hungry I believed I could eat anything. I had been wrong. Drowning would have been better. I would simply have to escape, that was all, and then when he caught me, as I was certain he would, for it was an island, after all, he would kill me. It would be over. I smiled at him, "Give me the comb." He tossed it at me, then left the chamber without another word.

I knew it was late at night because the loud voices that had filled the silence for hour upon hour were now silent. Nearly everyone must be asleep. I had slept most of the afternoon, but had awakened, hungry and alone and laid there. My stomach churned, clenched and growled. No one had come. I had no desire to rise and go into the huge outer room. I wondered where Seth was. This was his sleeping chamber, I was sure of it, but where was he? As if I had conjured him up with my mind, he came into the room. There was a fresh bandage of soft white wrapped around his shoulder. He was clean and dressed in a fresh tunic belted at his waist. He was big and powerful, his hair thick, his eyes light blue. He was clean shaven and I had to admit to myself he was a magnificent animal, I supposed but I didn't care. I wished I had killed him. My fingers itched for my dagger. He held a torch light in his right hand. He held it high and looked at me. "You're awake, are you?" I said nothing. "Good. Now I shan't have to rouse you and listen to your endless complaints. At least I had the foresight to have you bathe."

He was going to ravish me. I held myself perfectly still, preparing myself for his attack. I wouldn't give in to him easily. I would fight him until he was forced to strike me, perhaps kill me. I waited, my muscles tensed, ready. If only I had my dagger, if only. I watched as he doused the torch light and heard him removing his clothing. He sat on the far side of the bed, so close to me really and I pictured him taking off his boots. Then he rose and I knew he was coming to the other side of the bed, to me. My heart thudded hard and heavy. I tasted fear in my mouth. Fear and hatred of him and resolved that my rape wouldn't be easy for him, that I would hurt him badly if I could. I heard him brush against his trunk that sat at the foot of the bed. I was ready for him, I had to be. He was standing next to me, bent down over me, saying nothing but I heard his breathing. Suddenly, he grabbed the blanket and wrapped it tightly around me, trapping my arms. He lifted me and tossed me onto the floor beside the bed.

I landed on my side, stunned and winded. He threw another fur on top of me. Saying nothing more, I heard him ease down onto the bed, heard him draw in a deep breath then he was silent. Then he burst out laughing, a rich mocking laugh. A dagger, I thought, if only I had a dagger. "You thought I would rape you" he said and laughed again. "Rape you? Even though you are clean and more sweet-smelling and beautiful than otherwise, I have other plans for you, you who are an ill-tempered witch. You who are are so fond of Tyler, you who would do anything for Trevelyan Hall. Do you lust after Tyler? Is that why you are no longer companioned? Perhaps he has already bedded you. Does he hold you above his other sl*ts?"

It was odd I thought as I rose silently to my feet. So very odd that it would happen now, that he would taunt me beyond what I could bear. I wrapped the fur around me and walked to the entrance of his chamber. Opening the door, a small sliver of light shone in. It was then Seth heard me and said loud and clear, "Do not leave this chamber, damn you. Get back here or it will go badly for you." I ignored him, something I knew had never happened to him in his life and walked into the outer room, still filled with the dying warmth from the fire pit. I breathed in the light smell of smoke, thinning out now, until the morrow when the fire pit was lit again, the room filling once more with smoke turning the air a pale blue. There was snoring coming from all the benches along the walls. Then I broke into a run, for I knew he was behind me now. I dashed to the doors and heaved up the heavy wooden cross-beam. I couldn't manage it.

I heard him behind me and I jerked up with all my strength. The cross beam flew upward and fell to the side with a heavy thud. I shoved open the door and dashed outside. I stumbled on the fur, falling to my knees. I was up in a flash, running, ignoring the pebbles and shards of wood that dug into my bare feet. I heard him behind me but he wasn't saying anything now. No, this chase was a silent one, one that would end with my death. There were four guards at the huge gates and they saw me coming, Seth behind me, naked. They didn't move. They didnt say anything. It was as if I were alone with him. Seth caught me by my hair and stopped. I cried out with the burning pain and fell back against his chest. He wrapped the thick hair around his wrist again and again, until my head was pressed tight against his shoulder. "You wish to relieve yourself?" He sounded calm, not at all angry but I wasn't fooled. He would kill me.

"Nay," I answered him, gritting my teeth against the pain as he again tightened my hair around his hand. "Nay, I wanted to escape you, to force you to catch me and kill me cleanly. But that isn't your way, is it? You would prefer to torture me, with your words and your threats and your deeds." He laughed before answering, "Kill you, aye, that is a thought, isn't it? You have caused me nothing but annoyance, forcing me yet again to hurt my shoulder running you down." He said nothing else, merely jerked his hand lightly. I was close to him, pressed tightly against his side. I couldn't move away because he held my hair wrapped tightly around his hand. The fur slipped and I jerked it up. He laughed, nodding to the men standing silent by the longhouse.

Once inside his sleeping chamber again, he unwound my hair and shoved me down onto the bed. He lit a torch as he opened his trunk and pulled out a length of chain from the bottom. I watched as he fastened one end of the chain to the post at the foot of his bed. He held up the other end and straightened. "Come here." A chain, I thought, staring at it dumbly. I shook my head. He would chain me like an animal? He wouldn't kill me cleanly? He strode towards me, grabbed my right hand and wrapped the chain around it. The fur fell to my waist. He fastened the chain securely, then straightened again, grabbing my left hand as I tried to pull up the fur. He said nothing, merely stared at my breasts. Slowly, knowing that I was watching, knowing well that I hated him looking at me, he reached out and cupped my right breast in his palm. I froze for an instant with fear and humiliation before jerking back. He grabbed the chain, laughing now and pulled me forward. I hit at him with my free hand.

He pushed me down onto my back and came over me, straddling me. He again lowered his hand, all the while looking at my face, watching me staring at his hand. This time he ran his fingers lightly over my breasts, from one to the other, again and again. His expression was unreadable. Then he frowned and jerked his hand away, staring at it as if he were unclean, as if I repulsed him. He rose off of me and jerked the chain, bringing me to my feet. He looked down at me, saying nothing. He hooked his leg behind my knees and sent me sprawling onto the floor. I watched him extinguish the torch, heard his fall onto his bed, heard him drawing deep steadying breaths, but I was wide awake when his deep breathing evened into sleep.

Old Nala

Entti

Sindra